


DisneyDads

by ThePackWantstheD



Category: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Family, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Broken Hearts, Disney, Drama, F/M, Family, Gen, M/M, Stabdads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 06:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/647653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePackWantstheD/pseuds/ThePackWantstheD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Vantas Boys and Megido Girls can't remember a time when they didn't have two fathers and one house. </p><p>Or: forty five Stabdads drabbles inspired by disney songs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Down in New Orleans

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this post of mine: http://thepackwantsthed.tumblr.com/post/38113011837/stabdads-headcanon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's place in town on earth with a house containing a house that never has a dull moment.

**Down in New Orleans**

"Hey you little shit, get up!"

Damara groaned, gripping her pillow tightly and attempting to fold it over her ears, "Go away."

"Get up," Slick insisted. "We're leaving in thirty minutes and if your not in that car-"

"What?" Damara questioned, turning her head and peeked one eye open. She blinked several times before she was finally able to make out Spades figure standing in her doorway with folded arms.  "Your going to let me miss school? That's hardly a punish-"

Her mouth snapped shut as a knife whizzed past her head. 

"I only missed because I wanted too."

There was a stare off between the two before Damara waved a hand at him as she swung her legs off her bed, "I'm going, I'm going."

He gave an absent flick of his wrist as he turned around, "Breakfast in five. If you're not there, you're not getting any twerp."

She waited until he had closed the door on his way out to stand up. She stretched her limps out, her red tank top riding up to her belly button, before making her way to her dresser. 

As she pulled clothes out of her dresser, a pair of bright red shorts and a black jersey with Megido across the back, there was a loud bang downstairs followed by a shouted, "God damn it Kankri, shut up!"

(-)

Karkat glanced between his father and brother. Three knives were stuck in the wall behind Kankri's head and both of their mouths were drawn back in scowls.

"I'm not going to when you keep doing things that could potentially trigger someone," Kankri hissed.

"You don't have any triggers you fucking shithead!" Spades spat out. "You're just trying to be fucking jesus or some shit."

"I think you're talking about Budda," Aradia piped in from Karkat's side, speaking around a mouthful of Fruity Pebbles.

Both of them turned, glaring at her, and snapped, "Shut up Aradia."

"What are they fighting about?" questioned Droog, leaning down to kiss the top of her head as he entered the room in his suit and tie. 

Karkat answered as he picked a french toast stick off Kankri's plate, "Kankri was talking about his social justice stuff again. Dad told him to be quiet like six times and he wouldn't listen."

Droog's sighed before rufling Karkat's head and looking at the other two men at the table, "Kankri, aren't you getting a ride from Cronus today? Go grab your backpack."

"But-" he objected, making a gesture towards Spades. 

The other shook his head, "Go or you can ride with your father when he takes Karkat, Aradia, and Damara."

Kankri's eyes shaded for a second before he turned and walked out of the room. 

Spades watched him, his hands itching towards his kitchen knife, until Kankri had disappeared around the corner and then sighed, "I don't understand that asshole."

"You don't have to understand him," Droog answered as he pulled the knives out of the wall. "You don't even have to encourage him if you don't want. Just for godsake,  _stop putting holes in the walls."_ Spades huffed before returning to his plate without a word. 

The kitchen was silent for a minute before Droog rubbed his hand against his forehead, "Aradia, Karkat, go grab your bandsheets so I can sign them. You both practiced last night, right?" The thirteen years olds nodded, both of their mouths full of food. "Good, Slick go - go find your car keys so you can get going soon. I'll meet you at the office."

"Damara still isn't ready for school," Aradia muttered.

"I am too, shrimp," Damara declared as she entered the kitchen. She reached aroudn her sister, stealing a piece of toast, before pressing a kiss to her fathers cheek, "Morning papa."

Droogs nodded, "Morning. Go grab your backpack so you guys can get out of here."

 


	2. Someday My Prince Will Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someday, Damara will get her happy ending.  
> But right now: she's got a broken heart, one less friend, a brother, and a tub of ice cream.

**One Day My Prince Will Come**

**  
**Kicking off his shoes, Kankri walked into the living room. His bag was slung over one shoulder and his hair rumpled from the wind in his hair as Cronus drove him back.

"I'm back," Kankri exclaimed. There was no answer but he could hear the TV in the background on some prison show - Damara then. Patting his hair down he made his way through the hallway towards the living room "Dama-"

He stopped as he took in the sight in front of him. Damara sat on the couch, her face streaked with tears and a tub of fudge brownie Ben & Jerry's clutched to her chest. 

"Go away fuckass," she snapped, her voice rough. 

He paused for a second before shaking his head, throwing his backpack onto the loveseat and climbing onto the couch next to her. She opened her mouth, protesting, for a minute before he cut her off, "Shut up, Damara. Tell me what happened."

"Rufioh broke up with me," she answered after a pause. 

He floundered for a minute before words rushed out of his mouth without asking his brain, "Rufioh's a dick."

Both of their eyes widened before Damara let out a small chuckle and shifted so her head was in his lap. "He is."

They fell into silence as he took to stroking her hair and the cops in her show took someone into the jail. He pulled on a strand of curls before saying, "You'll find someone, you know? I would go out with you if we weren't siblings in our weird way."

Damara nuzzled against his thighs, "I wouldn't date you anyway, KriKan."

"Stop," he whined, "that's a stupid nickname you came up with when we were _five."_

"Stop talking KriKan. I need to learn the ways of the Prison system for when Meenah and I unleash our wrath on him."

Kankri opened his mouth, ready to say something about triggers and justice, before he let it snap shut. Instead he just nodded and dug his nails against her scalp, "I'd post bail for you if you needed it."

 


	3. Never Had a Friend Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a kid with a smile full of silver in his kitchen and Spades really doesn't know why.

**You Aint Never Had a Friend like Me**

**  
**Spades tugged on his tie as he entered the house, hearing some music he couldn't understand flowing from Damara's room. As he walked into the kitchen, he placed a hand on the bandages he could feel blood leaking through wrapped around his hip. He moved past the table, where Karkat and a dark haired boy sat together with textbooks sitting in front of them, and examined the note pinned to the fridge.

' _Going to the library, dropping Aradia at Sollux's on my way' - Kankri_

 _  
_Slick huffed as he reached for the handle of the fridge.

He paused halfway there and spun around, staring at the kid next to Karkat before saying, "What the hell? I don't remember having another brat."

 "That's because you didn't," Karkat replied, rolling his eyes. 

He narrowed his eyes, "Did Droog?"

"No."

"Then who the fuck is the twerp next to you?"

Karkat opened his mouth only to be cut off by the other boy shooting him a brace filled grin as he said, "I'm John Egbert! Karkat and I are friends!"

"Karkat doesn't have friends," Spades said at the same time as Karkat protested with, "For the millionth time, I'm not your friend Egbert."

The father and son glared at each other for a minute before Karkat looked away. 

"We're not friends," Karkat repeated, shooting the boy a glare. "I'm being forced to do a piano duet with him."

"Nu-uh! He told you, you could have done your duet with  _anyone_ in the class. He told us we didn't have to be playing the same instrustament."

Slick clicked his tongue, "Whatever. Make sure he's out before I get back."

"Whatever, dad." Karkat gave a roll of his eyes before gesturing to his friend, "Come on. The piano is upstairs."

 

 

 

 


	4. I Have a Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Aradia and Karkat are six and doing their homework and Aradia confesses something.

**I Have A Dream**

**  
**The house is humming with silence as Karkat tumbles down the stairs and into the living room where Aradia is spread out on the carpet with two sheets of paper in front of her.

"I got the coloured pencils from Damara's room," he reported as he threw the box in between the two sheets. 

She gave him a small smile as she reached for it and he collasped onto the floor with her. He looked blankly at the sheet for a minute before asking, "What were we supposed to put on this again?"

"Ms. Crocker said to divide it into four squares then draw your family in the bottom left, put your name and birthday in the top right, your favorite things in the top left, and what you want to be when we're grown up in the bottom right," Aradia listed, waving the red pencil in her hand with every few words. 

The two of them worked in silence for a while, their pencils scratching against the paper and the carpet rough against their bellies. 

Aradia was humming softly, an old sax tune her father used to play when she was younger, when Karkat stopped. He thought for a moment, his pencil on his lip, before saying, "What did you put for your dream square?"

 "My dream," she answered, a tiny smile on her face when he shot her a glare. 

"I know that, smartass," he bit, and a wider smile spread across her lips, back. "I mean, what's your dream?"

She glanced around before leaning in, "Promise not to tell Papa or Dad?"

He arched an eyebrow, looking around himself before nodding and leaning in as well, "Promise."

Aradia regarded Karkat with half closed eyes before saying, "Promise on your RomCom collection?"

"Wha-" Karkat glanced around against before hissing out, "You're not about to tell me you want to join the felt are you because Dad would-"

"No!" she squealed, her hair whipping around and smacking both their cheeks as she denied the accusation. "God, Karkat. I want to live to an old age, not die at dads hands."

"Then what could be so bad I need to swear on my RomComs?"

With a final glance at the hallway leading to Diamond and Spades respective rooms, she whispered, "I want to go places. I want to leave and only come back for Christmas or weddings. I want to dig up dinosaur bones and ancient cities. I want to find history,  _make history."_

 _  
_Karkat pursed his lips, quiet for a moment before saying, "I don't want you to go."

"I'll call," she assured, reaching across. They settled into a silence filled with the rubbing of their papers everytime they shifted slightly until Aradia pulled away and swung up into a criss-cross applesauce style. "Let's go outside, we can finish later."

"That's what I said," he exclaimed as he followed her towards the glass door leading to the backyard. 

"Papa, Kar and I are going outside!" Aradia shouted, hoping her voice would carry down the hall.

Hidden behind the entry way between the living room and the hall, Droog tried to keep the scratchy tone out of his voice as he called back, "Be careful and stay in the backyard!"


	5. This is Halloween

**This is Halloween**

**  
**The Midnight Crew has a lot of connections.

None of them are  _legal_ strictly speaking but none the less.

The masquerade ball is a tradition of theirs as a thank you for everyones corpation and a congratz on that fact that they've made it another year without going to jail (or on getting out of jail in some cases).

Standing in front of her mirror, Damara ran her hands down her dress. The maroon material was short, cutting off midthigh, and clung to her body in ways her father never would have allowed if party planning hadn't had him too busy to do more then hand her his credit card. The heels on her feet gave her a few extra inches, not many just enough to level her with other people her age. 

"I just picked your mask up from-" Kankri stopped as he entered her bedroom, taking in her dress. He lifted an eyebrow, "Did papa-?"

"No," she stated simply, reaching her hand out for the mask he carried in his. The one he handed her covered only her eyes, a pipe coming up and twirling out on the sides as a representive of her Aries sign. She pulled it over her head, sliding it down to her neck before moving back to her beauty station to do her hair. 

Both of them were silent ofr a minute before he said, "So, is the dress about Rufioh?"

Damara casted a smile over his shoulder, "You have to look your best to meet the devil."

"I don't approve of you showing off your skin in an attempt to woo a boy back. It's demeaning to women every-"

"Kankri," she drawled, spinning around in her chair. "I don't care about women everywhere. I care about showing that asshole that he made a big mistake dumping me for Horuss."

They stared at each other before he sighed, "Do you have a date then?"

Her face relaxed into a less vicious smile as he crossed the room, taking her hair into his hands as she passed him the brush. "I asked Dirk in a strictly platonic way but then Dad decided to hire him to DJ."

"So no?" Kankri summed up as he trailed the brush through her locks.

She shook her head, "No."

"Could you stoop to being on my arm then?"

"Didn't you invite Cronus?"

"No, I didn't feel like dragging him into this whole criminial orginzation thing," Kankri said. 

Damara chuckled, "Everyone knows our dads don't opperate on the legal side, KriKan."

"Knowing it and being involved are completely different things."

"So dates then?" Damara questioned.

"You got it. Now I'm going to help get Karkat in his tie and take one last attempt at getting Aradia to put a strap on her mask. We all know she's not going to want to hold it up all night. See you in a few hours?"

"See you then."


	6. Can You Feel the Love Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a little bit of realizing what Love is supposed to be like.

**Can You Feel the Love Tonight**

**  
**"Papa, what are you doing?" questioned Aradia, stopping as she found Droog leaning around the windowsil to peek out the window.

She carefully made her way over to him, peeking up and out the window. In front of her she found Kankri straddling Cronus's bike while the other teen stood in front of it leaning against the handle bars. 

Droog placed a hand on her head, messing up her hair but she couldn't bring herself to say anything other then, "Why does Kankri look so happy?"

"Your brothers in love, you see," Droog explained, looking down at her. He paused, when he saw the way the twelve year old had her hands braced against the window and a look of wonder in her eyes, before going on, "He's happy because he loves Cronus and spending time with him."

"That's what love looks like?" Aradia mumbled."Rufioh never looked at Damara like that..."

Something inside him twitched at the mention of the boy who had ruined his oldest daughter, "You're right, Aradia. That's why Rufioh doesn't come over anymore."

She let out a tiny sound, in awe of finally seeing this thing that she'd only heard of in fairytales, before looking up at him, "Do you think someone will ever look at me like that?"

Droog thought Deuce's son and the way the boy seemed to light up behind those 3D looking glasses of his whenever she entered the room and the way he was so willing to go outside and dig holes in their yards with Aradia even though they all knew he preferred to be on a computer. 

He swallowed deeply before nodding, "I'm sure someone will, Ara."

 


	7. One Jump Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kankri Vantas - teenager, son of a major crime boss, blogger, and social activist.

**One Jump Ahead**

**  
**"Krikan where are you going?" questioned Damara as she poured milk for Aradia and Karkat - the youngest members of their family still half asleep. She raked her eyes down him, taking in the too tight skinny jeans for anything he'd ever wear and the tank top clinging to the muscles she'd always known he was hiding under his sweatshirts. "Did you finally join the rest of us in the world of clubs and hormones?"

"Oh _shut up_ , Damara. You aren't even old enough to get into those clubs you go to with Dirk and Meenah," Kankri snapped, rolling his eyes as he grabbed his bag from the closet and slung it over his shoulders. "I'm going to a rally in support of tighter laws and punishment against rapist."

Her eyesbrows shot up, "In  _that?"_

"Yes. Cronus has a sign that says "I'm Not Asking for It" and Porrim and I are going to both hold it."

"Can't wait to see what she wears considering some of the things in her closet," she snorted. 

"Damara!"

She sighed as she ruffled Aradia's hair, passing to meet with Kankri in the hallway, "I know it's not something to laugh about because no one deserves that. I just want you two to be careful okay?"

"I know. Cronus is insisting on taking his baseball bat even though I'm pretty sure we can stay ahead of the cops and any troublemakers if something happened."

"Well, don't be afraid to kick some ass if something happens. You know five different kinds of martial arts and you fire a gun better then papa," Damara drawled. 

Kankri nodded, "I'm not stupid 'Mara." He made his way into the kitchen, kissing Karkat and Aradia both on the head before walking towards the door. "I'll be back before Papa and Dad get back. Tell them I went to study with Porrim or something?"

"Porrim Maryam studying?" laughed Damara. 

Outside a horn honked. "Damara! Come on. You know papa won't-"

"Go, I've got you covered," Damara shooed. "I've got the kids and you're on a date with Cronus. Have fun at your rally."

"Thank you," Kankri declared, swooping forward to kiss her cheek. "See you later, Karkat, Aradia!" 


	8. Let My People Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not the first time one of them has gone to jail, but it's the first time they weren't back the next morning.

**Let My People Go**

The kitchen was already full with the rest of her family - Damara sitting on the counter with a bowl of cereal, Kankri eating a stack of pancakes and Karkat eggs and bacon, and Droog sitting with the boys reading the newspaper - when Aradia entered the kitchen, rubbing sleep from her eyes. 

"Papa, will you make me eggs and bacon too?" she questioned, peering over at Karkat's plate. 

"Of course honey," came the reply. Folding the paper, Droog stood up and walked to the fridge. He tapped Damara as he went, "Get to the table, 'Mara. You know better."

Grumbling the older girl did as she told, "Dad never complains."

The words made Aradia glance around before she asked, "Where is daddy? He's usually up and throwing things by now."

"He got arrested last night," Droog answered. "He'll be back soon."

"Oh." She looked down at her hands as she waited for her food before looking back up, "He'll be back tonight right? Because it's saturday and he always plays Risk with Karkat, Damara, and I on Saturday."

"Of course he's going to be back tonight," Karkat put in. "Dad's never gone for more then a few hours, right Papa?"

Droog heistated for a minute before turning away from the bacon popping on the stove to look at the children, all of them had turned their eyes to him, "No, actually. Daddy's going to be away for a little longer then normal this time."

"Papa!" Damara exclaimed, her spoon hitting her bowl with a loud clink. "Why didn't you tell us that from the start!"

"It's not a big deal," he tried to soothe, noticin the way even Kankri's grip on his fork tigtehened even though his older son didn't say anything. "They don't have any evidence so they'll only hold him for three days. He's be back by the time you get back from school on Monday."

"Your lying to us," Kankri deadpanned, glancing over. "They never hold dad for more then a night and he's been there since yesterday."

"I'm not," Droog answered as he turned back around, not able to look in the eyes of his children when they were all so upset by the news of Spade's arrest as if it was a new occurance. "He'll be back by then. I promise."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few things before I go for today:
> 
> 1) I am aware that The Prince of Egypt is Dreamworks not Disney - but I believe a few of the others I use in this story are also not so I don't see a big deal with it. 
> 
> 2) Happy (?) 4/13. 
> 
> 3) And: we'll I'm getting a fair amount of kudos every chapter, a comment or two on your thoughts would be nice!


	9. Kiss the Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spades sees a girl across the room. Droog encourages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do something which implied why the kids didn't have mothers? Hopefully this helps at least one side of the argument.

**Kiss the Girl**

"Why don't you just go talk to her?"

Spades Slick tore his eyes away from the woman leaning against the wall and looked over at his friend. He growled, "What?"

"The girl," Diamond Droog declared. He gestured with his hand towards the girl Spade has been looking at. "You've been staring at her all night. Just go speak to her."

"Don't you have something else to be worrying about?" Spade questioned. He bit down the urge to look over and double check that the object of his affection hadn't left yet. "Isn't your girlfriend about to get deported or something? Where the fuck is she even from? You never fucking mentioned that part."

"I told you plenty of times you just weren't listening. And don't change the subject." He reached out, pushing his smaller friend forward. "Go."

Spades shuffled several steps. He was about to turn around and scream at Droog for the action when he noticed the woman's eyes are landed on him as well. He cleared his throat, and strode towards her. It was too late to turn around at this point. 

When he was only a few steps from her, a body rocked into his. 

"What the fuck!" he screeched as he felt alcohol spill down the side of his suit. 

"Oh my! I'm so sorry!  I didn't- I have a handkerchief you can use to wipe off and-"

"Your only going to rub it in and make it worse!" he declared, shuffling away from the voice as a hand reached towards his body. Scowling, he looked down at his assailant with more insults on his tongue, only to stop in his tracks.

The girl standing next to him was wearing a dress with a mixture of blues and pinks and green which were so bright they stood out against the dark shades of the other party goers. A pink bandanna was wrapped around her head and her hair spilled out of it, cascading down her shoulders in curls. Her lips were twisted up in a sort of half apologetic smile which fit her so well it made him think she probably spent a lot of time smiling.

"Please let me help you clean up," she insisted. "I should have been paying attention."

He cleared his throat, dropping his eyes to the floor, and muttered, "That's not necessary. I was at fault as well."

She didn't seem to care what he was saying. "I could have your suit dry-cleaned for you or I could wash it myself or-"

"You could tell me your name." As soon as the words left his mouth his cheeks heated. "I mean. You don't have to do anything for me. Or um..." He felt like some kind of blathering fucking idiot. He was better with women then this dammit!

"Everyone calls me Ms. Paint. What's your name?"

"You don't know?"

"I'm afraid not," she admitted. "I was dragged here by a dear friend of mine. I don't know anyone here."

He shifted, trying to peel the wet fabric off his skin without being obvious about it, and said, "Spades Slick. The host."

"Oh no. I'm sure you have lots of important things to do tonight too..." Ms. Paint's eyes fell towards the wet patch on his suit. "And that must be terribly uncomfortable. Please let me at least fix it quickly. With a hair dryer. You can do a more permanent solution later."

"That'd be fine I guess..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "There might be a hair dyer in Droog's bathroom. I'll um...show you were it is."

As he walked away with Ms. Paint, there were no other thoughts of the girl in the tight black dress and green lining. 

* * *

 

The day they bury her was a somber one.

Droog sat in the front row with Kankri and Damara sat on either side of him, the five year olds sitting with their eyes cast down as they tuned into the mood around them. Karkat and Aradia sat in his lap, fussing as two years tended to do. 

"I remember the day you two met," Snowman declared as she stood next to Spades at the coffin. "The two of you seemed...meant to be from the get go. The Felt will not let this go-"

"Do not interfere," Spades Slick hissed. His eyes were rimmed red from tears, but fire blazed in them as he turned to face her. "If you steal this away from me - If I'm not the one who puts a knife in the throat of the bastard who did this - then the Felt can consider itself the greatest enemy of the Midnight Crew. We will never be anything again if you take this away from me."

 


End file.
